There is a little light in me yet it is dim.
It cannot shine bright because my spirit won't allow it.
The strength I use to hold now breaks me.
I wish I was the child I once knew.
Each day is made complete with an effort I hate.
Each interaction is just a part of the job and
I wait for the hour to end the night.
My direction needs instruction from a higher power.
It is to the point I feel lost and incomplete.
I am alive yet not living.
I wonder where is the good life, if there is one?
The joy that once surrounded me in Heights no longer covers me.
Each hour is like a battle field.
I couldn't tell you if I was winning or losing.
Each day the walls get closer and I am panicked.
Praying the Lord saves me from this lack of hope, confidence and happiness.
Today, I even wished I was with Arlene, painless and free.
Yet I stay tranced by the devil's song which he puts on repeat to stop me.
But that little light that is dim flickers and flutters like butterfly wings.
And with that I know i will smile again.
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